The Body Remembers: Opening the Heart and Sex Center With Magda Kay
- Joanne Smolders
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
Until she was 30, Magda Kay had never had an orgasm. She enjoyed sex, she enjoyed intimacy, and she still felt like something was fundamentally off with her body. That search eventually led her into a tantric community, years of training, and the practice she now teaches as a certified tantra teacher, intimacy expert, and conscious relating coach. In this interview, she breaks down the two energy centers she believes run your entire love life, and how to reconnect with both.
"It's all about opening your sexual center. If you open your sex center, suddenly you just have a different vibe. People feel it, people see it, and they navigate towards you." - Magda Kay
Finding Her Way Into Tantra
What led you to tantra in the first place?
Until I was about 30, I had never had an orgasm. I enjoyed sex, I enjoyed intimacy, but I just felt like something was fundamentally off with my body. I seriously thought I was broken. I actually lost a relationship over it, the guy took it very personally and we drifted apart. That's when I knew I wanted to find the answer.
Tantra wasn't a mainstream thing back then, you couldn't just Google it. It took real effort to find a community, but I got the opportunity to learn techniques and practices, first to open my own body, and eventually to teach them. That's what I want to share now.
What Tantra Actually Is
How is tantra different from yoga?
Tantra is a spiritual path, and it's actually very similar to yoga. We do hatha, we meditate, we work with pranayama and the chakras. The difference is that tantra focuses far more on energy, what we call shakti, the feminine principle.
I think tantra is popular right now for two reasons:
It makes space for sexuality, which most religions and spiritual practices shame or leave out entirely.
It centers the worship of the goddess, the cosmic feminine principle, in a wellness world that's otherwise very male-centric, even meditation on its own is a male practice.
Feminine energy wants some space. Women+ want practices built for them. That's the biggest gift tantra gives.
The Two Centers That Run Your Love Life
Why focus on the heart and the sex center specifically?
These are our two most important energy organs for love and intimacy. Your heart chakra sits in the middle of your chest, and it governs unconditional love, intimacy, kindness, sensuality. Not romantic or conditional love, something more uplifted than that.
Your sex center is a bit of a surprise for people who've done yoga. It's not the sacral chakra, which is what most people call the "sex chakra." It's actually your root chakra, located at the perineum, the space between your anus and your genitals. This is the center responsible for every animal instinct and drive you have, including the most powerful desire in the whole universe.
What Imbalance Actually Looks Like
What happens when these centers are out of balance?
When your heart is closed, you feel alone or lonely, a lot of sadness, a lot of longing. When it's too open, you become naive, you stop seeing red flags because you believe love alone will fix everything. In relationships, this looks like over-giving, over-pleasing, or smothering a partner.
When your sex center is closed, you may become celibate without choosing it, or struggle to orgasm, that was my case. You can also feel invisible to people, and it's rarely about how you look. When it's too open, you can end up sex addicted, without boundaries, or dealing with porn addiction, which is absolutely present among women+ too.
And when the two centers aren't matched to each other:
Heart stronger than sex: you become housemates with your partner. You love each other, the chemistry is gone.
Sex stronger than heart: you try to get love through sex, which stays surface level, and you end up over-valuing chemistry and looks over character.
What Balance Feels Like, and the Practice Itself
You get a deep feeling of being loved and needed, which is the opposite of loneliness. You allow yourself a healthy, balanced amount of pleasure, including orgasm, and you become genuinely magnetic, people notice you and want to stay in touch, not just hook up once. Best of all, the more you love someone, the more you desire them, instead of those two things competing.
The practice I teach uses breath and visualization together. We start with a ball of light at the heart, breathing into it, warming the hands and placing them over the chest. From there we move into circling the breasts, a garden visualization for the heart, then shift attention to the sex center with a red light and a visualization of fire.
Eventually we breathe the energy between both centers, imagining it as water and steam moving between heart and sex, before scoring, zero to one hundred, how open each one feels in that moment. No judgment, just information for yourself.
Whatever you feel during a practice like this is your truth, and it's worth writing it down. Emotions want to be acknowledged, and naming them makes them real.
Magda Kay's full guided practice, along with the rest of this conversation, is available in the latest episode of the Umaversity.
📺Watch the full Umaversity Masterclass episode here:
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